Why Star Wars is Better than Star Trek

I find it annoying that people confuse my obsession with Star Wars with that of a trekkie. WTF! A Trekkie. I ain't no Trekkie. And yes, I used a double negative. I have several contemporaries who are fans of both. Some of them try to peace things out between both groups. Not me, son. The Emperor showed me what beef if. Here are several reasons why Star Wars is better than Star Trek.

Tattoine – man, I love Tattoine. It's run by the gangsta Hutts. Those dudes are g'ed up. Tattoine has the worst city in the galaxy, Mos Eisley. It can't get any Gangsta than that. What does Star Trek have?

Mandolarians – come on man. Boba Fett, Jango, and the rest of the gang? Dudes are ruthless.

Clone Troopers – made from a template of Jango Fett. Come on man, Star Trek ain't got nothing on this.

Storm Troopers – They sound so cool when they communicate. They make that chsssss sound
in between phrases. How cool is that?

Star Destroyers – can Star Trek bring genocide and destruction on this scale.... hell no!

The Sith – these villians can either be ruthless or on point. Some of them make some good points. What do the trekkies have, the Borg? WTF is a borg?

The Jedi – what more can I say?

Han Solo – when Princess Leia told him she loved him, he responded with “I know.” If I say
that to my wife, she would smack the Jesus out of me.

Darth Maul – dude is sick. I hated how he got killed but he is sick. That is all Wu Shu on top
of that.

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part VIII

Alef Ulo slowly inched his way past their prisoners. All the events of the last couple of months swirled through his brain. His troops were isolated from the rest of the galaxy. They jumped from mission to mission. He has only been to Coruscant one time after the Battle of Geonosis. That was three standard years ago. He walked to the back of the gunship to find the body of Flinch stretched out in the mini med bay. His face was a gnarled and burned mess. Ulo lost many clones in this war, but never a clone commando. All four original members he started with has stayed with him through each battle. Despite the fact that they all looked the same, Ulo knew who each one was. The Jedi taught him not to have any attachments. Then he realized what have we done?
Since before the war, the darkness was always there. Initially it was just background to everything. It did not seem as threatening. Since the Battle of Geonosis that foreboding has grown. All of the Jedi seemed to ignore it. Well most of them did anyway. Several Jedi refused to fight in the Clone Wars due to this foreboding darkness. In hindsight, maybe they were right. Before he left the Jedi Temple for his first mission, many of the older Jedi debated their roles in the war. Now the darkness has engulfed them all. Before he fell into despair, Alef Ulo began his Jedi meditation. Soon they will be docking in the Coruscant Dawn.

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part VII

On the way up to the Dawn, the captured clones tried to retake the LAAT/i twice. Using some Teras Kasi and some force pushes, he was able to subdue them each time without causing any harm. Once he removed their helmets, the clones seemed to keep to themselves.
“What do you think is waiting for us on the ship?” Asked Tick.
“I don't know,” Ulo answered, “we will see when we get there.”
“I don't like surprises, sir,” Tick responded.
“Again, I do not expect you to fire on your brothers,”
“It's over, Jedi!” One of the clones yelled out. “The Jedi are all traitors. They tried to assasinate the Supreme Chancellor!”
“That doesn't make any sense,” Burn chimed in, “the Jedi aren't totally invincible but I bet if they wanted to kill Chancellor Palpatine they had plenty of opportunity to do it. Let's face it. If they wanted to, it would have happened a long time ago.“
“I would have to agree with you, Burn,” Ulo finished.
“Even if we don't get you on the Dawn,” the same clone trooper continued, “someone will get you.”
“Pull up the holonet news!” Ulo commanded the pilot.
“Yes, sir!” The pilot surprisingly complied.
In a few moments, the entire gunship was filled with sound. After a few commercials, the Coruscant News Network came on. The main story was the attempted coup by the Jedi. The Jedi were defeated and clone troopers were sent to eradicate the Jedi. The clones uncovered a plot that reached all the way up to the Jedi Council. They were then tied to several galactic Senators many of who were wanted and at large. All Jedi were to be apprehended and turned over to any Republic garrison.
Alef Ulo shook his head in disbelief. Several witnesses and Senators were interviewed. All of their testimonies incriminated the Jedi.
“It's a new Republic now,” Burn said solemnly.

Star Wars: Allegiance by Timothy Zahn

review by Dan Tres Omi


Omi's Note : warning ! Spoilers!

Many might debate this statement but this writer has to say that Timothy Zahn is one of the top three Star Wars EU writers. He has written one of the best book series introducing us to Grand Admiral Thrawn, the Chiss warrior who almost brought the Empire back. He penned the story of the disastrous Outbound Flight. He also brought us Mara Jade once known as the Emperor's Hand. Zahn continues his foray into the EU with Allegiance.

The story takes place shortly after Star Wars: A New Hope (ANH). The details about the destruction of the first Death Star are still reaching the rest of the galaxy. The Rebel Alliance is starting to gain momentum as more and more systems begin to rethink their position on the Empire. The last time someone wrote a novel about our favorite gang of rebels in the post ANH timeline was Splinter in the Mind's Eye. Here we find Luke Skywalker to be still a novice in his Jedi training. Han Solo is still debating about his position in the rebellion. Leia Organa is still the same hardcore diplomat.

The basic storyline of the book centers around five stormtroopers who decide to desert. After they were forced to massacre innocent civilians in an attempt find some rebels, these stormtroopers begin to rethink their role in the Empire. They begin to question the motives of their superiors . When they kill an officer of the notorious Imperial Security Bureau (ISB) after being accused of treason, these five stormtroopers steal some equipment and make a break for it. However instead of escaping to some uncharted system, they decide to fight pirates and help the average Imperial citizen. They call themselves the Hand of Judgement.

Eventually they run into some rebels and actually meet Han Solo, Luke Skywalker, and Chewbacca. Things change for the worse when they encounter Mara Jade, the Emperor's Hand. Mara Jade is only about nineteen at the time but is as equally ruthless when we meet her several years later. Her job was to weed out traitors and corrupt Imperial officials.

Zahn does a wonderful job keeping the storylines separate and finally pulling them together. One has to remember that this occurs right after the destruction of the Death Star so only a few Imperials know what actually happened at Yavin. No one really knows who Leia, Luke, Chewie, and Solo are. At this point, they can still roam the galaxy and not worry about the Imperials. Mara Jade even learns about Luke Skywalker while snooping around Vader's files but has no clue about who he is. As a matter of fact when the Hand of Judgement encounters the rebels, they have no clue that they are working with the most wanted group of people in the Empire. Until Vader and the 501st show up.

The book is exciting from cover to cover. One will enjoy learning about the Storm Trooper Corps. At this time, the Empire has been recruiting humans from around the galaxy for quite some time. Much of the dialogue between the Stormtroopers who become deserters sounds like the conversations I had with fellow sailors while in the Navy. In Allegiance we encounter many Stormtroopers who sign up with the Empire to serve their galaxy. After several missions, they become disillusioned. While working with several corrupt officers and witnessing atrocities against innocent civilians, many question their role in the Imperial armed forces. This is why many former Imperial officers sign up with the Rebellion. The original Rogue Squadron was made up primarily of former TIE fighter pilots.

Ironically, the Hand of Judgment do not see the Rebel Alliance as a solution. They think of them as usurpers to the Imperial Order. They see them as a new brand of Separatists. As a matter of fact, through Leia we learn that the Rebel Alliance was originally not looking to start a war. Instead they hoped to bring the Imperials to the negotiating table. This of course is naivete on their part since the Emperor would never have conceded.

Again, I have a beef with how George Lucas portrayed the Stormtroopers in the movies verses how writers in the EU have discussed them. Consider the Stormtroopers like the US Marines. They are elite and only a few are chosen. Writers in the EU have written them as nothing less than the best. In the movies, they are like keystone cops always fumbling about. My other beef is Mara Jade's use of the Force. She is very skillful in this aspect. When we meet her in the Thrawn series, her powers are very limited. It seems as if she forgot. She does not get better until she trains with Luke. Yet wouldn't her Force abilities remain strong because she was trained by the Emperor and had much more experience in using them through her missions? This is a problem with continuity. Still Zahn does his thing yet again. The book is a must read.

R2D2 coming through your town

If you haven't heard, the United States Post Office (USPS) and the folks at Star Wars have teamed up to put together R2D2 Mail collection boxes in the U.S. It is part of the Star Wars 30th anniversary celebration. At the end of the March, USPS will be unveiling some stamps that commemorate our favorite trilogy.

Here is the deal, USPS has only made 320 mail boxes that are to be placed in high traffic areas. So if you live in East Bubblebuck Kansas, chances are they are not bringing it to your area.

Our wonderful city of Norfolk, VA has one! It is located on 315 Granby Street. Of course, your favorite blogger took the padawan learners down there to take some reflections. After talking to my Sith mistress, she is still imposing her Imperial no showing the babies on the net rule. So I had to leave those out. But here are some pics of self doing his thing.



Here I am doing the regular pose. Picture courtesy of my daughter...



Of course, I had to do the freeze. I can still hold it. I am still the handstand king of Hampton Roads.... I held that for like ten seconds. WHAT!

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part VI

Ulo took a deep breath, allowing the Force to flow through every cell in his body. Then he leaped backward performing somersaults. He landed several feet from his original position and leaped again. He was a blur on their sensors. Before a shot could be fired, he landed on the nose of the LAAT/i and vaulted off the vehicle. He bounced off a tree on disappeared into the forest. The LAAT/i began to fire. It tore through the foliage tracking him. He was several steps ahead of the clones. Ulo bounded through the forest planning to encircle the LAAT/i so that he could reach the canopy doors. He wondered how long it would take before they fired their missiles. Suddenly, the barrage stopped.
Alef Ulo continued his somersaults and found himself facing the open canopy door. He found Shuffle holding his service pistol to the skull of the LAAT/i pilot. Two clone troopers held up their DC-15s in his direction. At the same time, Burn and Tick held their rifles towards other clone troopers.
Once the sounds of gunfire echoed away from them, Ulo was able to listen.
“We will not stand down!” Yelled the pilot. “We were given orders directly from the Chancellor's office!”
“You will stand down!” Exclaimed Tick. “We will return to the Dawn and get to the bottom of this!”
“The war is over! The Jedi are traitors!” The pilot shot back.
“This could be a Sep trick!”
“Then why haven't they attacked?”
“Exactly my point!”
“No, the Seps surrendered and have deactivated all their droids!”
“It's a set up! It smells like a trap!” Burn cut in.
As Ulo walked up, all the clone troopers except the commandos trained their guns on him. Using the force, he yanked their weapons out of their hands sending them flailing into the forest.
“Now we can talk,” the Jedi Knight stated as he stepped on board the LAAT/i.

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part V

Groggy though he was, Shuffle was able to speak.
“We shouldn't have left Flinch,” he stated weakly.
Everyone agreed.
“As soon as the gunship arrives, we will retrieve his body, I promise you,” Ulo replied clutching his arm.
“Yes, sir!” Shuffle responded with more strength in his voice. It was moments like this when Alef Ulo questioned the decision of the Jedi Council to continue to use the clones to fight this war. They were willing soldiers and had no qualms about dying in a war that continued to neglect them. Ulo could not help but create a bond with his soldiers. They were loyal to the death. Ironically, Ulo never questioned what would happen to them once the Separatists threat was over. He could not imagine using them as occupying forces in systems that were not loyal to the Republic.
The Low Altitude Assault Transport (LAAT) is the staple of the Grand Army of the Republic (GAR). They were the workhorses and have proven themselves time and again. Unfortunately, they are loud and could not be used during special operations. When Rothana Heavy Engineering designed the LAAT/i, it was an ARC Trooper's gunship of choice. Although it carried far less armament then the original LAAT, its stealth suite, silent engines, and precision handling make it ideal for insertion and extraction. The enemy never knows what hits them when it sneaks up to provide air support. While waiting for an extraction, Mynock Squad never hears it coming. Yet Ulo can sense kilometers away.
“It's here,” he said solemnly. “I will not ask you to fire upon your brothers. Yet if I am attacked, I will not hesitate to defend myself.”
“Yes, sir!” Answered Tick. “We understand. I will carry Shuffle.”
Ulo nodded.
The LAAT/i finally appeared. It hovered slowly over them. As they walked towards it, it lowered to their chest level. The clone troopers lowered their weapons towards Ulo.
“Commander Ulo!” Yelled one of the troopers. “You are under arrest. Hand us your lightsabers!”
Alef Ulo stopped in his tracks as the commandos continued to walk to the gunship.
“I will not comply until I am given a proper briefing!. I want to speak directly to the Jedi Council!”
“That is not possible Jedi! The Jedi Council is no more as per the directives of the Chancellor himself! Now turn over your weapons!”
“No, trooper! I am your commanding officer!”
“Not anymore, Jedi!” The clone trooper made some hand signals. Once the commandos were on board, the gunship leveled off and faced Ulo. It's forward guns tracking him.

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part IV

As they set up camp, Commander Ulo collapsed. He clutched his chest as if he were in cardiac arrest. Both commandos dropped to their knees and scanned the area assuming it was another ambush.
Ulo felt the force tug at him. He felt his breath leaving him. He could sense the plucking out of life as they returned to the force. Ulo understood that several Jedi have died. It happened so fast and so many times.
“Commander, are you okay?” Tick asked.
He was finally able to catch his breath.
“Yes, I am Tick,” he said slowly.
“What happened?”
“I just felt hundreds of Jedi die,” he said solemnly.
“But--” Tick went on.
“I can't explain it. Force sensitives can feel when a great number of people are killed or die.”
“Do you think what the ARC Trooper told us was wrong?” Tick asked.
“It may be,” Ulo continued, “if the Seps lost the war why are all these Jedi dying.”
“So it could be a trick,” Burn commented.
“It might be. Let's contact the Dawn again.” Ulo flipped on his communicator. Instead of receiving static, he got a transmission. “This Mynock squad to Dawn.”
“Coruscant Dawn copy,” the voice of Commander Duman Len replied, “what is your status Commander Ulo?” Suddenly his holo appeared perched on Ulo's forearm.
“We are setting up camp with preparations to return to the primary EZ,” Ulo answered.
“Did you rendezvous with the ARC Trooper?” Asked Commander Len.
“Yes, we did.” Everyone noticed a pause from Commander Len.
“Where is he?”
“He is KIA,” Ulo said remaining as calm as any Jedi would, “we were ambushed by droidekas.”
“I see,” Commander Len responded slowly, “we are locating you now. We are sending a LAAT to retrieve you and your men.”
“Commander,” Ulo went on, “is it true? The war is over?”
“Yes, it is. It is much more complicated than that. We can discuss it when you arrive.”
“Thank you commander,” Ulo said, “out.”
“We will see you shortly,” he replied with a sense of hesitancy in his voice.
Originally Ulo assumed that once the war was over, he would be elated. Yet for some reason that is not the feeling he had. Meanwhile, the commandos contemplated their future. Now that the war is over, what will happen to them?

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part III

Commander Ulo was correct. Despite a few minor contusions, scraps, and bruises, Flinch would be okay. The only salvageable part of his armor was his helmet and chest plate. His Heads up Display (HUD) barely functioned. He decided to remove it since he could not rely on its functions anymore. He was conscious minutes after the melee. Shuffle was down. His chest plate was full of holes. The armor saved his life but did not prevent injury. Mynock Squad was able to stabilize him with the aid of Commander Ulo. He would need to be taken back to the Dawn to prevent any permanent injuries.
“Now back to business,” stated the ARC Trooper coldly.
“What is this about?” Asked Commander Ulo calmly.
“Nothing personal, Jedi, just orders,” the ARC Trooper replied.
“What's going on?” Commander Ulo asked the remaining members of Mynock Squad.
“We have no idea,” answered Tick.
“We were told to take you out,” Burn followed.
“What's this about trooper?” He asked the ARC Trooper again.
The ARC Trooper raised both of his pistols at Commander Ulo.
“Nothing we need to discuss here,” he answered.
“I am willing to go into custody,” Ulo stated flatly, “I don't want to hurt you.”
“No need for anyone to be polite about it--”
“Supposedly we received orders from the Chancellor's office to take you out. That's all big mouth over here told us. I think its a trap--” Flinch was not able to finish the sentence. The Arc Trooper fired into his face, killing him instantly. Before any of the other commandos could react, the saw the Arc Trooper fall to his knees with a shoto sagging from his chest plate. He dropped both pistols in his attempt to pull the short lightsaber from his body. He crumbled into a heap in the middle of all the commandos and Ulo.
“Holy Bantha poo!” Burn exclaimed his Deece still raised.
Tick was by Flinch's side.
“Stag! He's dead.”
“So is the ARC Trooper,” Commander Ulo stated as he checked the ARC Trooper's vitals. “We have to contact the Dawn for an immediate evac.
“That may not be possible,” Tick replied, “they are pinned down.”
“Then we head to the primary EZ, send them a signal and sit,” Ulo commanded.
“Roger that, sir!”
“I will carry Shuffle,” Ulo continued.
With Burn on point and Tick following up in the rear, they slowly made their way back to the primary EZ. It would take a day and a half to arrive since they covered so much ground the previous 36 hours and the extra weight slowed them down tremendously. They were forced to camp out as the day broke.

To be continued...

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part II

Mynock Squad and the ARC Trooper were being pressed further back. Each time they hid behind a tree or low outcropping of rocks, their cover was blasted into shreds. Tick was wounded. The armor on his right leg was blasted off and blood tracked everywhere. The ARC Trooper fired away as if he were invincible. The noise they were making was soon to bring reinforcements from either side. Maybe the Seps decided to advance.
“I am going to break comm silence and call for back up,” Tick finally announced.
“I could have told you that,” quipped Shuffle.
As Tick called for back, the Seps pressed on. It was difficult for the clone troopers to retreat further back. The firepower the Seps possessed was powerful enough to keep them pinned. It was even tougher to fire back. This is when seconds felt like hours. Thankfully, the clone troopers wore armor. The heat of the battle was enough to force anyone to quit. Tree bark, rocks, and soil flew everywhere as the Seps continue to lay siege to the out gunned and out manned clones.
“Air support will have to wait!” Tick called out. “The Dawn is busy fighting off Seps.”
“Swell,” continued Shuffle, “I thought we had them on the run.”
“And I am out of cannon shells,” Burn added.
“Here goes nothing,” Flinch chimed in as he cocked his arm to chuck a thermal detonator. Before he could release the explosive, he took several shots to the chest. He was knocked off of his feet and the detonator flew back somewhere behind the clones.
“Fire in the hole!” Yelled Tick. Everyone lunged forward firing ahead as they fell.
The impact sent them flipping head over heels. The ARC Trooper fell directly in the line of fire of Super Battle Droid. Before the droid could turn to re-aim, Burn fired several shots from his DC-16 into it's torso taking it out of the battle.
“Flinch is down!” Yelled Shuffle. No one had time to look back as the Droidekas recharged and took aim. Everyone leaped for cover. It was uncoordinated. They acted like a bunch of amateurs. Shuffle however, knelt in front of Flinch and began firing again. This time, he took out the second Super Battle Droid but received several shots from the Droidekas.
Everyone heard his screams through their comm systems.
All three clone troopers left standing noticed a blur move from left to right and zig zag it's way towards their position. At first, it seemed as if the heat from the battle and the flying shrapnel caused problems with their helmets' optic sensors. After a few nanoseconds of this, they released it was no malfunction. The blur took to the hair and landed inbetween the Seps with such a force, it knocked all four droidekas a few yards from their original position. At the same time, Commander Ulo ignited his lightsaber and shoto. Unlike the average Jedi, Alef Ulo toted two sabers. After Geonosis, he never worked with another Jedi again and found unconventional methods to complete missions. The shoto was much shorter than the average lightsaber.
The weakness behind the droideka are the fail safes that automatically shut off its shield in the case it fell over to prevent a system overload. Commander Ulo took full advantage and use the force to knock them over. He threw his shoto into the air taking out the two droidekas closest to him. With his lightsaber he lunged at the third one, cleaving it in two. The fourth one was taken out by his returning shoto. Once they were down, he switched off both lightsabers and replaced him on the belt of his tunic.
“Commander!” Tick called out.
“I can sense that Flinch is down but not hurt. He will need some new armor however,” Alef Ulo surmised using the force. “Shuffle needs attention but he will live. I need to invest in some of the armor.”
“You said that last time,” Burn commented.
“Commander Ulo, we need to talk,” Tick said as he removed his helmet.
“Commando, stand down!” The ARC Trooper.
“Well, let's take care of our comrades and then we can talk,” Ulo responded oblivious to what was happening.

To be continued...

Dilemmas and Loyalties Part I

Mynock Squad waited. Like any squad of clone commandos, they were trained for this. Mop up operations on Boz Pity began 36 standard hours earlier. Mynock Squad has been engaging Sep forces ever since. It was an easy op. Their commander would recon for about an hour or so and return with some new targets. Things were going pretty well for the the last day and a half. The weather has been holding out. Commander Alef Ulo has been an exceptional leader. They all traveled on the gunship/swoop Coruscant Dawn with a platoon of clone regulars and one ARC trooper. The gunship was captained by a Commander Duman Len, an actual Coruscanti native. The rest of the crew were non clones. Since the battle of Genosis, their crew has been jumping from system to system conducting special operations. Most of it has been hit and run, reconnaissance, and support. It has been action ever since that fateful day three standard years before. Their platoon had to be replace twice since. They even lost their ARC trooper in the last mission. They were just getting used to their new one.
“Can't wait 'till Ulo gets back,” said Burn, the demolitions expert. His face had a long burn scar on the right side. It looked more like a birth mark, Commander Ulo, had remarked.
“I don't mind waiting around,” commented Flinch, “it seems like it's the only peace we've gotten since Geonosis.”
“Geonosis, what?” Joked Shuffle. “Man, that was so long ago, I almost forgot.”
“Of course you did,” Burn shot back, “you were unconscious half the time.” Which was true of course. While jumping from the shuttle, Shuffle landed in front of an artillery barrage that knocked him off of his feet. He was unconscious for most of the battle. Luckily, he suffered a few minor concussions. Everyone laughed.
“Everyone piped down!” Tic yelled.
“Excuse me, sarge,” Shuffle replied sarcastically.
“This war's not over yet,” Tick continued. “Things have been going pretty well for us. It's about time things got real dirty.”
Everyone could agree to that.
Suddenly they heard a speeder coming from behind them. They quickly sought cover and braced themselves. They split into two groups and lined up facing the noise. This way they were able to create interlacing lines of fire.
In a few standard seconds, their new ARC trooper arrived. They quickly walked out of their hiding places to meet him.
“Where's the Jedi?” He asked.
“Up ahead on recon,” Tick replied.
“Bring him back here,” the ARC trooper continued.
“New orders?” Tick asked.
“Yes, you are to terminate the Jedi on sight.”
Everyone seemed to jump out of their armor.
“Terminate the Jedi?” Tick asked.
“Yes, new orders from the Chancellor's office.”
“How do we know the Seps haven't jammed our frequency and taken over comms?” Asked Burn.
“You been out in the field too long, commando,” the ARC trooper went on, “we're winning and the Seps are on the run. That big attack on Coruscant broke their backs.”
“So why are we killing Commander Ulo?” Burn asked.
“You don't question orders, commando, you follow them. This is a direct from the Chancellor himself. Call the Jedi back and get rid of him.”
“I think we need to confirm those orders!” Shuffle answered. “I'm not killing Commander Ulo or any Jedi for that matter.”
“You will follow orders, Commando, as you've been bred to do. Your loyalty is to the Republic!”
“Hold on,” Tick stopped him, “Shuffle is on target, we have to confirm those orders. We have been out in the field too long and don't know what's going on in the Republic. We can't just jump at every order coming from the Chancellor's office. Our orders came from the Jedi Council. Now we have to kill Jedi? It makes no sense.”
“So you're disobeying orders?”
“Until further notice,” Tick continued, “no matter what it takes, we have to confirm those orders. We are still fighting Seps out here. Taking out one of our own is not going to help.”
“The Jedi are not one of our own...” The Arc Trooper said coldly.
The familiar sound of a Super Battle droid wrist rocket followed by the sonic boom of that projectile filled the air. Instinctively all five clone troopers dove for cover. The rocket impacted where they stood a nanosecond earlier. As they found cover, they scanned for targets. Soon two super battle droids flanked by four droidekas were in their midst. They poured fire into their positions. The Clones had little to no cover. Any tree they hid behind was blasted away by the droidekas.
“Of all the griffin' luck!” Yelled Burn.

To be continued....