Friday, February 08, 2008

Make Mine Marvel?

Some of you comic book heads remember the days when Marvel comics reigned supreme before all the X Men movies. In the letter's section of any Marvel comic, several fans would end their letters with “make mine marvel.” Before they would write make mine marvel they would throw a punchline before that. It would go something like this:

“Until Wolverine cries, make mine marvel...”

or

“Until Dr. Strange smokes weed, make mine marvel...”

My brother from another mother Billie Wheelz and I still throw punch lines such as these all the time. Call it a geek moment but only the true Marvel heads (O.M.'s, right?) know about this. However Marvel has done some stuff that made me think twice about supporting them. To be honest, they fell off for about a decade. Yet when I was a die hard fan, they did some ill things. Check the method.



1.The marriage of the Vision and Scarlet Witch – I think Stan Lee and Jack Kirby were smoking some crack with this one (I am sure when Lee's biography comes out there will be several instances of drug binges in there). How the heck is a cyborg that walks through walls going to get with a mutant? I understand that Marvel has explained the children part through the Scarlet Witch's powers but sex? Come on man. That is borderline perv.

2.Luke Cage in his old threads – A yellow top and tight black pants? WTF, a pimp? In the late 90's, someone at Marvel decided this was wack and now has Luke Cage wearing regular street clothes. Whew! I know much if happened because of the stereotype folks had in the 70's but even Black Lightning in DC comics was played like that.



3.Modok – WTF? Then he came to rule over the Kree Empire? WTF? He was just too weird. Can't wait until the History of Marvel comics comes out. I am sure there will be plenty of Bobby Brown and Whitney Houston moments.

4.Storm – I never really got close to her character because she had white hair and blue eyes. This was NEVER explained. So a sister had to have some recessive trait in there to be considered a goddess. I will admit that the Storm graphic novel by Eric Jerome Dickey is dope on so many levels, I got it for T'Challa instead of Storm.

5.Wolverine – the reason why I was not big on Wolverine was because as tough as he claimed to be, he always manages to get his ass handed to him. He talks so much junk it's ridiculous. It actually gets on my nerves. If it wasn't for his healing factor, dude would have been tossed a long time ago.



6.Nick Fury – die mofo, die! Dude does not have the Super Soldier Serum like Captain America yet he has not aged a day since WWII. Okay they throw a little white on the edges. He has no super powers but still lives. Come on man, kill him off, please. BTW, did anyone see Michael Hasselhoff play Nick Fury? It is too funny. (the name is so dope though).

7.Oh about S.H.I.E.L.D. -- what's up with the tights? I really can't take a federal agency seriously if they are all wearing tights. I have grown to understand why comic book artists draw super heroes in tights, but federal agents?

8.Did anyone collect the Dazzler comic book? Let me catch someone who did so I can joke them. I can't picture the party now....

9.As much as I love Jack Kirby's and John Byrne's the Fantastic Four (remember when the Thing left and the She Hulk was a member?), I cannot stand the Silver Surfer. I just can't take a cat who flies around on a surf board seriously. Sorry dude. Another crack binge in the office.


Until Nick Fury lives another ten minutes, Make Mine Marvel.

6 comments:

El Fin said...

Being a Star Wars geek from way way back and a comic book head from the eighties I had to comment.

I'll recap some moments in my comic reading that stuck with me and I gotta agree on a few points you made.

After so many years away from the comic book rack,(my one man protest of the price hikes) The New Avenger title brought me back with that story of Avengers being killed off. Hawkeye, Thor, Captain America. And who was behind all that killing? The Scarlet Witch.
That was some good shit. Check out The New Avengers#1 when they decide to send Bruce Banner into space only to piss him off and have him conquer a planet and the Civil War series kicks off where Super Heros had to register or face punishment. Heros took sides and Captn America an Iron Man were enemies.

As o recent Im going back thru a classic Lone Wolf & Cub, from Dark Horse a 28 graphic novel series worth checking out. To bring it home it was one of the biggest inspirations that G. Lucas brought to the original Star Wars

Brother OMi said...

my man Pharoan put me on to the New Avengers. I am all caught up and I really enjoy the writing and the art. I dig the fact that alot of heroes think that the Avengers are not relevant . I also dug the fact that Captain America knew the new crew was short on super powers and enlisted the Sentry to help them out.

El Fin said...

Another title I gotta plug. Ex Machina. You know anytime a comic title breaks into the main media and gets talked about its a big deal. The Rolling Stone mag and New York Times were blowing it up.

Its the best story of a regular dude with the strangest super power I seen, who turns around and then becomes the Mayor of NYC. The stories been crazy, he saves one of the Twin Towers from the plane crashing. The arts cool too.


And to stay on topic, I gots to mention two X-Men stories that stuck with me.

1. When Prof. X was no where to be found and Storm and Cyclops were arguing who was going to lead the X-Men and they settled it in the Danger Room with all the X-men lookin on. Even though Storm didnt have her powers she won the fight. Cyclops takes a walk and leaves the mansion , 'never to return'. Feelings hurt he meets up with Angel to later form X-Factor. That Danger Room fight was a good one and the lil drama kept me thinking.

2. The two part X-Men and Alpha Flight limited edition was a good story. While doing some research way up North a group o humans along with the superheros in ther civies come across this well that turns ordinary talents into super powers. So if you had cooking skills you could make food an water out of thin air. IF you had knowledge of animals you became a beastmaster type. Well after Wolverine digs into the source he finds that the well is sucking the life out of all the magic in the world so Dr. Strange, Shaman etc were all dying, drying up with the wells usage. The well was going to be a source to stop the anti mutant racism and give everyone the ability to be super at he expense of all the magic users of the world. Logan wasnt having none of that.

The two teams pick sides on who wanted the well and who didnt. Wolverine wanted to shut down the well, Colossus wanted the well. It turns into a brawl between the two sides with teams split up and the new super humans fighting the folks that took sides with Wolverin until Prof. X jumps in. Come to find out Loki was behind the whole thing. The story is good the arts good too.

Amadeo said...

I always hated Cyclops. I really didn't like all the characters who hated on Wolverine cause he would kill. Dude has unbreakable claws....what should he do...become letter opener man? I also noticed the biggest complainers were people who could use their powers from a distance (like Cyclops).

El Fin said...

I always had an appreciation for a superhero I could relate to, who kept a day-job, who didnt rely to much on his superpower but still kept a great ability for busting people in the grill and just beating peoples asses.

1. Spiderman
2. Batman
3. Daredevil
4. Nightcrawler
(most underrated X-man)

I had an appreciation for how these guys handled there buisness. Come to find out Im seeing a pattern all these guys were doing there thing in the city. And anyways Peter Parker was from Queens right down the street from where I grew up.

Jdid said...

I only got back into comics with the civil war series last year. Marvel was on some real b.s for years

yea I never got the scarlet witch vision thing plus the dude was totally an android no emotions anything. that was to much.